New shirts. No parenting advice.
Get new drops, gift reminders, and the occasional discount. We will not tell you how to raise your kids.
Free US shipping · Printed to order · Secure checkout
They said having kids would change your life. They didn’t say it would change your bathroom privacy. This shirt is for every dad who’s had a toddler barge in mid-stream to ask where the blue crayon went. It’s for the guy who hasn’t peed alone since diapers - theirs, not his. Equal parts truth and sarcasm, this is your daily PSA: parenting is a full-contact sport, and no door lock can save you.
Product features
- Without side seams for a smooth and attractive look.
- Highly elastic ribbed collar retains its shape.
- Shoulder tape stabilizes the garment to prevent stretching.
- Crafted from 100% ring-spun cotton for a soft, durable feel.
- Ethically produced with Oeko-Tex certification for safety and quality.
Care instructions
- Do not dryclean
- Do not bleach
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: low heat
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors
Size guide:
| XS | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 16.00 | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 | 32.00 |
| Length, in | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 | 34.00 | 35.00 |
| Sleeve length, in | 7.99 | 8.23 | 8.50 | 8.74 | 9.02 | 9.25 | 9.49 | 9.72 | 9.96 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
Compare the measurements with a shirt you already like. View the size guide.
See current production, tracking, and delivery information on our shipping page.
Review the current policy and how to get help on our returns and exchanges page.